An email to my daughter

Norey, 

Right now you are probably having lunch (chicken salad, crackers, strawberries) at MDO. I'm sitting in your room typing on my laptop. To be exact - I'm sitting in the glider. Your room is dim and quiet. I love this room.  It is purely peaceful. 

And it is helping to calm your neurotic mother right now. We are expecting some nasty weather today, and I'm on edge. 

This morning when I got up to hide your new Abby doll - you don't know about it yet, but we got a 20" plush Abby doll for you and plan to surprise you with it Sunday - Ellie was acting particularly strange. She was hovering. But there wasn't any food for her to be waiting on, so I looked more closely and she was just shivering all over. Then I fed her and she wouldn't even eat (very out of character). I know Ellie has that sixth sense they talk about.  She knew I was pregnant with you before I even knew. During those first few weeks she all of a sudden starting sleeping on the bed in between your dad and me. Like she was spooning me or making a barrier for me. She knows. 

With that shivering from Ellie, I got on edge. More so than I normally am when a storm is coming. Your dad gets a 'little' annoyed with me on that. I remember my dad (Pop) getting that way when I was younger and a tornado was forecast. I'd get so nervous and worked up. He'd just calmly say "There's nothing you can do about it. It's out of your control so you might as well stop worrying." That never helped. 

Now that I'm your mom it's just worse. The worries just multiplied. It's not just surviving and moving forward. It's what if something happens to your dad and me and you're left alone. How will you get saved? Where will you go? What happens to you? And on and on and on...

So that brings me - literally - to your room. To sit here in the peace and quiet and rock in this glider and send you this note. 

I love you,

Mom

P.S. It is taking most all my willpower to not go pick you up early from MDO.